Current mood:	impressed
Current music:	Victory - Puff Daddy ft. B.I.G.

The Icarus Cycle
His left cross merely grazed my temple. Thanks to some quick footwork, I strattle-stepped and delivered to him a crushing blow. As he whimpered on the ground shouting in Spanish, I replied in-kind and walked away...


The first book I can remember purchasing is The Untold Secrets of Time Travel. It was more a comic than an instruction manual. Advertised in the back of the Amazing Spiderman comics, I saved for months to raise the $14.99 purchase price. Carefully ingesting every syllable of that 20 page pamphlet, I found that the secret of time travel laid in flight speed, solar worm holes, and other celestial glitches in our solar system's matrix. Disappointed, being that high-speed super jets and space travel are pretty far out of reach to a 9 year-old, I shelved the USoTT.

But if I couldn't travel time, maybe I could travel distance? My next purchase was Modern Flight Principles and Jet Propulsion Systems. This 4 inch thick juggernaut set me back 6 weekends of cutting grass and cleaning garages. And after 4 months of intense reading, the "kid jet" project was shelved for monetary reasons.

I say this only to illustrate a cycle, The Icarus Cycle. Curiosity begets research begets purchase begets learning begets lost interest. This is my cycle. Hundreds of books line my apartment walls and my parent's attic. I can speak for 4 minutes on almost anything from Aikido to Goldsmithing to Palmistry. I sometimes spout out statistical facts on subjects I don't even remember studying. I am a wealth of 'How-to' knowledge with no practical application...

..until last Tuesday.

On Monday Javier, the parking lot attendant at my super-cheap $6 per day lot, sliced my driver's side window after he locked my keys in the car. I found this out that evening (after Javier left) when picking up my keys from the night drop attendant. So naturally, I return to the lot Tuesday afternoon for an explanation. I approach Javier cordially, explaining to him the story the night drop attendant gave me when he just flicks out.

"We not responsible!" he said. "It's your fault!" he said. "He's lying!" he said. I shouted over him to explain my points and he raised his voice again to trump me. "Don't bring your car back here!" he said. "Now leave!" he said. "THAT'S IT!" I yelled. Going into my pocket, I pulled out my newest gadget, a CyberTool 34 by Swiss Army. Corkscrew, pliers, scissors, 5 mm hex-socket adapter with mini screwdriver set, 3 in. blade, toothpick, tweezers, and ballpoint pen all in a translucent onyx casing. Maybe it was the sudden movement to my pocket? Maybe my gadget brought about terrible memories from his past? But Javier took a swing; and in an instant all of my kinetic knowledge turned to action.

History of Pi (St. Martin's Press, 1979) states that the direction of f is the orientation in which the directional derivative has the largest value. If f /= 0, then the gradient is perpendicular to the level curve and perpendicular to the level surface. Bruce Lee's Fighting Method: Basic Training (Ohara Publications Inc., 1980) teaches to remove an opponents power by moving inside of his arm's reach and striking when your opponent is off-balance. And Wicked Spanish for the Traveler (Workman Publishing Company, Inc., 1991) states No, usted me posee para mi ventana. Puto!

In layman's speak, I dodged his punch, hit him in the kidneys, and told him he owed me for my window, bitch

...as I walked off into the sunset.